Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
