Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
