Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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