i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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