I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
