she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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