i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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