Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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