Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
