why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
