i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
