i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
MIDGETS
????
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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