WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
