omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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