Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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