One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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