Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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