the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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