cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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