Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
