You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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