Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
