I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
