I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
