So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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