But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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