p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
