Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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