So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
