He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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