i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My penis needs a shock collar
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
