what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
