Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We need to get me chipped asap
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
