why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
