Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
