chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
