very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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