Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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