Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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