We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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