im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
