I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
