VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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