for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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