Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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