so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
