Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
