we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
