Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She's the barista slut.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
