I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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