when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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